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I don't know, maybe it was only me, but I couldn't get into anything on the tube, so I turned it off and grabbed my laptop to check my email. Looked at the same folder three times before I realized that I'd already read those. Switched to Facebook, nothing new there, either. Couple of memes got a vague chuckle, but after I scrolled them off the page I couldn't have told you what they were. And all this time I kept remembering soft curves, blue eyes. Mischievous twinkle in them. Long, soft blonde hair. Crooked little smile, every now and then punctuated by a giggle. And just a whiff of some kind of perfume – maybe just her shampoo, but it was her. Kaitlyn. Kay. Okay! What the hell am I gonna do about her? That lightning out in the bay must have struck me a direct hit, and now I'm just another Energizer Bunny, and it ain't running down a bit!Found myself thinking about Jenna. Again. Felt guilty, wondering for the millionth time what our lives would have been like together, if only .... Finger foods for polite, if strained, conversation. ‘You knew better,’ I scolded myself, lifting my bloodshot eyes to the mirror as I spat into the sink. Every fiber of my being had told me not to go there, that naught good could come of it. I did it anyway—because he wanted it and I wanted to please him. Simple, really. The reason why he wanted it was not lost on me, though. It added to my anger. Packing wouldn’t have taken nearly as long if not interrupted several times by dry heaves. I saw his eyes as I squeezed my own closed. Not the eyes I cherished—the ones that studied me with a mixture of amazement and adoration—but the placating, angst-filled eyes. The pleading eyes. I never wanted to see those eyes again. I heard his voice as I ran the tap water to wash my face. Not the voice I cherished—the one that promised me all his tomorrows—but the appeasing, soothing voice. The ass-kissing voice drifting through a closed door. I never wanted to hear that voice again. I knew as soon.
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